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Your father is looking down and wishing you would wise up. He was never and will never be proud of you. More like yelling actually. Because I am studying for my final exam in order to graduate high school rather than clean up her raggedy mess in the dining room. Ever since my father passed away, my mother copes through her pain with alcohol, cigarettes, and making me feel like the size of a nat.

I looked at both parents.

accept. You are

She cannot come to school today. Call me when she is ready.

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Peabody, this sort of thing can happen. It is normal for kids to be mean to each other. Susan and her family were back in my office the next afternoon after school.

This time Susan spoke first. Still slouching in her chair some distance from the table, she said. Ackerly, I know that what I did was wrong. I hit Johnny with the smoothie. Please let me back in the school. You can come back. But Susan, if you break anymore rules you will leave the school for good.

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Neither Susan nor her parents said anything. Susan still had that confident little smile on her face on her way back to class. Both Kathy and eventually Lilly, took responsibility for their behavior and for them things were different.

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They both went on to have a successful year without further incident. But I realize in retrospect that I missed a step with Susan. I should have asked her to make appropriate apologies and restitution to Johnny.

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That would have been the right thing to do. Nonetheless, I doubt it would have helped, because in order for Susan to change her parents needed to change. Could I have changed the mother in any way? Could I have worked with the father to make the change necessary? We began to congratulate ourselves. That was am. Two hours later, however, Karen told me that Susan had broken six school rules in the last two hours, that she had been completely contemptuous and had topped it all off by spitting in the face of one of her classmates at lunch.

Jan 29,   The Story of the Three Little Girls. 27 Jan January 29, By Rick. Once there were three little girls, Kathy, Lilly and Susan. They were all new to my school in the seventh grade and had come from different schools. But in eighth grade, when they were together, they turned themselves into a gang that was mean to other kids with increasing. Jun 20,   39 Little Things Most Girls Secretly Do When They're Naked. Pushing out your belly to see what you'd look like pregnant. Posted on June 20, , GMT Becky Barnicoat. BuzzFeed . Sep 09,   I look at the picture once more of my father. Surprisingly, I grew a grin on my face. I can hear my dad's voice telling me to not die just yet. It's not my time. He's telling me I'm his little girl who still needs to grow. "You're right.".

Kathy came up at a faculty meeting a month before graduation, as we were talking about awards, as a candidate for the citizenship award. One teacher said that it would be wrong to give it to a student who had been suspended. Another said that Kathy deserved the award, that she had proven herself to be the best citizen in the class by far.

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She had not only kept out of trouble, but had made many positive contributions to the community of the school. A debate ensued. I was very pleased with the outcome. We are here to make a difference, and we did.

She showed in her behavior that she knew exactly what we are about and wanted to prove it to us. She has to get the award. Technorati Tags: Authoritybuilding characterchild-rearingchildrenconflictdecision makingDisciplineeducationEmotional controlGeniuskidsLeadershipLearningLearning communitylearning social skillsParentingparenting skillsparentsrespectresponsibilityschoolschool reformteachingteaching responsibilityteenagers. Few educators have the courage and clarity to confront relational aggression in girls.

As you say in the story, they can be very slippery! Remember the films Mean Girls and Heathers?

excited too with

The offending girls in those movies were all successful students flying hurtfully below the adult radar. Your account led me back my training in restorative justice and restorative discipline.

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The central questions in that approach are certainly relevant to your story: What harm was done? Who is responsible? How can the harm be repaired?

What else could be done with Susanor her parents? I bet your other blog readers will have ideas. What else could be done with Susan?

Working with kids and their parents I have learned the maxim: If the adults take more responsibility for something than the child, it absolves the child of responsibility.

Kids act and then learn from the results. Whoever is working with Susan should try to get parents and teachers to define what success looks like e. Susan learns that being kind is a better way of being powerful and define the roles each will play in helping her learn it. Meanwhile, all is not lost, of course.

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The world will teach Susan what she needs to learn. The journey will just be longer and harder than if we were all working toward the same goal and were each playing our position so that Susan could learn from taking responsibility. I am glad you see how tranferable the concept is.

thank for the

You have to start early-or rather it gets harder the older they get. Glad you liked it. A genius is a sum of its parts.

apologise, but does

Amanda, Thank you for your thoughts. It is interesting to observe the effect we have on children.

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Many years ago, after the funeral of one of my favorite uncles, I was confessing to my cousin how badly I thought I had messed up my children. Thank you for this poignant story. It speaks volumes to the impact parents AND school personnel have on children. Thank you, Rick, for being an educator who is committed to educating for life.

Your students and their parents are very fortunate to have you on their side. If anything, I bristle at what is being taught waaay too much sex education for her age, for instanceand at the mixed messages that are being instilled in her. I see my job as helping my amazing daughter navigate this sea of confusing and conflicting input with strength and growing wisdom, and helping her enjoy her teenage years without succumbing to the standard pitfalls drugs, pregnancy, car accidents, etc.

I deeply appreciate it, and take strength and wisdom from it myself, which hopefully will translate into a happy, healthy and well-rounded child! This is a powerful story. And the comments are also great to read. I too struggle with this with my 5-year-old.

Probably I want to much from her but we work on it. About you and the situation. Your email address will not be published. I participated in harassment.

sorry, that

I can talk to Johnny. But it also states that screening procedures has been modified for children 12 and under to reduce the likelihood of a pat-down screening. His daughter, who had never gone through this kind of screening, said she kept herself together because she didn't want to "throw a tantrum like a 1-year-old.

It was like, over and over. In all, the pat-down and other extra screenings took about an hour, Payne said. The only way the family made it onto the plane was because it was delayed. Skip to content. San Diego. San Diego County Apr 5. Back to Article.

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