Sleep - Woman Has Sex For The First Time, Falls Into A Dreamland Adventure // indiausamagazine.com
Thanks to thee unrealistic standards constantly portrayed in media , we've all built up this imaginary idea of what sex is supposed to be like. Some people expect a romantic night of candles and passion, while others think it will be the most pleasure they've ever felt in their whole life. But the truth is, everyone's experience is different. Sometimes it's smooth and romantic and lives up to your expectations, while other times, it's kind of terrible. But no matter how old you are or what the circumstances are, having sex for the first time can feel like a huge deal! So, to give you a better idea about what your first time may be like, we talked to 43 girls about the first time they had sex - how they knew they were ready, who they did it with, and how they felt afterward. I think I would have enjoyed it more if he had checked in with me to see if my needs were being met, which they weren't.
I liked the feeling of being so close to him. But physically I thought it felt weird - like it didn't really feel all that great and I didn't feel tons of pleasure. Afterwards, I expected to feel more mature and more confident, but I really just felt the same as I always have. I don't really feel like losing your virginity is as big of a deal as everyone makes it out to be.
I'm happy that I had my first time with someone I loveso, in that ct, losing my virginity was really great because of how much I love my boyfriend. If it had been with anyone other than my boyfriend it would have been sooo embarrassing.
One friend asked if he could crash at my place. I wasn't expecting it to turn into anything - I didn't even know he felt attracted to me that way. It was very spur of the moment, but we did use a condom.
My First Time Masturbating - Glamour
He was my good friend and I trusted him, so even though we didn't talk about it beforehand, it felt right and okay and was even pretty exciting. I was obsessed with the fact that I was a virgin, sizing up my classmates, puzzling over whether any of them were virgins, too.
One of my high school crushes invited me to hang out one weekend, and according to my experienced roommate, it was apparent that he wanted to have sex. We used protection. He was considerate and gentle and quite kind. The experience as a whole was very positive. I didn't have sex again for another two and a half years. I was ready and glad to no longer be a virgin, but I was not ready for the risk and responsibility of being sexually active. I have no regrets - either about how I lost my virginity or how long it took me to have sex again, because both were a reflection of me being good and ready.
We decided to do it after about three months of dating, when I knew for sure I was ready. We used a condom. Honestly, I didn't feel different after than I did before. Maybe just a little more mature. If you really think you're ready, and you and your partner protect yourselves, it can be a really cool thing. I decided that I wanted to wait until college to lose it, but when I finally got to college, I didn't really meet anyone that I wanted to have sex with, especially not for my first time.
I ultimately decided to lose it to a guy that I really, really liked but wasn't in a relationship with.
I was just so ready to 'get it over with,' and this guy was and still is a great guy. My one regret in the entire experience is that I didn't tell him that I was a virgin.
To this day he doesn't know!
A girl first sex
I was so scared that I was going to freak him out, but really, a lot of awkwardness could have been avoided if I'd just been honest. I was 17 and I just wanted to get it over with. I asked one of the people that knew me best at the time, my sort-of boyfriend, if he would take my virginity, and he agreed. We used condoms.
At first, we couldn't find the hole, but eventually, we did. Afterwards, I didn't feel much different. He was two years older than me and not a virgin, and he had been trying to persuade me for a couple months beforehand. When we finally did have sex, it was when I was ready. I was glad that I didn't give in until I was really ready.
It was painful and slightly awkward. I had this weird feeling of elation once it was over, though, because I had always wondered what it would be like, and it had finally happened. I've never had any real regrets about the person I experienced it with or how it went down. Although I will say it would have been better in a bed and not in the passenger seat of a Honda Civic There wasn't one specific moment when it happened.
It was more of a progression from one stage to the next rather than 'here's the moment I lost my virginity' because we're both girls. I was excited and nervous and happy about the whole thing. We were both virgins and just wanted to get it over with.
2. Lily, First time: Penis in vagina sexual intercourse
It wasn't pleasurable or even fun, and throughout the entire process all I could think about was, when will this be over? Moral of the story - wait until you're really ready.
It was during my freshman year of college with an upperclassman frat bro. We'd been talking for months and I was convinced he liked me, though looking back on it now, his texts of 'What are you doing tonight? At all. What stung the most was what happened after. He didn't text me at all and when I saw him at a party the next weekend he completely avoided me.
If I walked into a room and we made eye contact he would immediately turn and walk out. It felt like a huge slap in the face. I liked him, but he had finally gotten what he wanted and that was it. He was over me. I wanted nothing more than to go up to him and yell and ask him why he was being so mean to me when I had done nothing wrong, but every weekend he would completely avoid me or be talking with another girl when I walked by.
I knew I wanted to sleep with him.
Shy Teen Girl Having Sex For The Very First Time
I thought about it for about a week to be sure, but I knew I was ready. I brought it up first, but quickly added that if he didn't want to yet, we could wait. He immediately said he wanted to, but asked about five times if I was sure I was ready, making sure I knew that he wouldn't care if I changed my mind.
He made me feel safe, he made me happy, and that made me even more sure than before that I wanted to sleep with him. It was with a guy friend that I spent a lot of time with and did physical things with, but we weren't technically in a relationship.
However, we were really good friends and I felt comfortable with him. Sex had been in the back of my mind for a while. I asked him about one month in advance if he wanted to do it with me, and he said yes.
He had never had sex before, either. We used a condom, which he more than willingly agreed to do. Before we did it, I felt extremely nervous, but a good kind of nervous - it was something I really wanted to do, I just didn't want to mess it up.
Afterward, I honestly felt closer to him emotionally and physically, and I could tell he did too. Our relationship ended up becoming more serious and eventually we started dating for real. The guy I lost it to was my first love. When we finally tried to have sex, it hurt unusually badly. We kept trying the whole night, but it just wasn't happening.
I eventually found out I had cysts on my ovaries. We broke up about five months later. Afterwards, I thought I had wasted that special moment on someone who didn't deserve it. But now, I'm grateful because that experience probably saved my life. We are on good terms now, so I'm glad to say it wasn't a mistake. It happened during a Netflix and chill situation and things were escalating pretty quickly. The guy I had been talking to didn't know I was a virgin, and I didn't tell him because I was afraid it would scare him off.
Losing my virginity was quick and for the most part painless.
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It was no worse than period cramps. Once I got home, I felt guilty because it wasn't how I imagined losing my virginityand not something you get back. I cried for a little bit and then decided there wasn't anything more I could do about it.
I couldn't change what had already happened. All in all it wasn't terrible, and I'm not sure I would change it. I had wanted to wait until we had reached the six-month mark of our relationship, but it was about four and a half months into our relationship. It was on my bed in my dorm on a Sunday which I remember because his dad is a pastor! I had no pain, and it just felt right.
He was gentle and it was loving. I knew I was ready because I just looked at him and wanted to be with him. The fact that he hadn't pressured me before helped, too. I remember whispering that I was ready, and he asked me twice before we actually did it if I was sure. We spent time after just cuddling and I felt so happy. Before then, I hadn't gone very far past first base. I don't necessarily know if I felt ready or if I just felt like it was about time I got this over with, but I was doing everything I could to find the right guy.
After many, many failed dates, I met my first boyfriend at a film festival. He was cute, European, and really into me. Within a week, he was asking me to be his girlfriend. I didn't know how I felt about him, so I kept putting off becoming official.
One day, we were fooling around and he asked to put on a condom. I was definitely into it, so I said, 'OK, I want to be your girlfriend now.
Put on the condom. I had just started the Pill and I was really afraid of getting pregnant and 'ruining my life,' which was the message I'd received growing up. I put a towel down. I wasn't afraid of what it would feel like; mostly I was just afraid I wouldn't be good at it. Despite his efforts to the contrary, it hurt a lot. I just pushed through, thinking that eventually it would get better. The problem was, it never got better.
Three years went by and sex still hurt. Several doctors later, I learned the culprit was a condition called endometriosis. With endo, the lining of your uterus grows in places it shouldn't, like your fallopian tubes, ovaries and sometimes elsewhere in your body. There's no cure for endo and treatments are limited, but there are more ways to enjoy sex than just intercourse alone.
We made out after an orientation party, then kept in touch through thousands of flirty texts all summer long. When we finally got to college, we spent hours hooking up every day. I kept hoping he'd take me out on a date - I wanted him to be my boyfriend - but that never happened.
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After three weeks of him pressuring me to have sex, I finally felt ready. Thirty seconds after it was over, he got up, got dressed, and left. He ignored my texts, never spoke to me again, and avoided eye contact every time we ran into each other for the next four years.
Britney BlairPsyD, CBSM, AASECT, a clinical psychologist, sex therapist, and founder of the sexual wellness app Loversays that the reason there are so many myths around what sex feels like for a woman is because there's a lot of misinformation floating around.
Blair tells Bustle.
Of course, not everyone who has a vagina is a woman - and not all women have vaginas. But because the cultural understanding of "losing your virginity" is so rooted in the gender binary and the experience of heterosexual, penis-in-vagina sex PIVthe term "woman" is appropriate here.
Assigned-female-at-birth AFAB people who don't identify as women may have similar experiences and assigned-male-at-birth transgender women likely won't.
But every first time is different, of course, even for the two or, in some special cases, more than two people involved. Even the definition of first time can be different, with some folks counting oral sex or digital penetration as the time they lost their virginity. Here's what it was like for eight different women.
For some people, it takes a little bit of time to really be ready, even when they think they're already there. That could be for a variety of reasons: maybe they need to warm their bodies up a little more or relax so they're not too tense or maybe they just need an understanding boyfriend, like Marvy had.
We were long distance, so I came to visit him for a week. For a week, we kept trying, but I was too nervous to relax and he was a bit sizable in the penis department. Finally, after basically a week of foreplay, we made it happen, and it was great.
One of the reasons for the painful-first-time narrative is because people of all genders aren't taught about the need for lots of warm up before PIV sex. I say "warm-up" instead of "foreplay" because "foreplay" implies that everything before the penis goes in isn't sex. Unfortunately, that was the case for Lily. Blair says that not paying enough attention to the warm-up is the number one reason PIV intercourse hurts for many vagina-havers.
Blair says. It might come as no big surprise, but woman are actually more likely to orgasm when they have sex with other women. Maybe that explains why Sarah, 38, tells Bustle her first time with another woman "felt like shooting stars soaring through my body and especially tingling my toes. Blair doesn't even use the term "virgin" because, she says "it's so heteronormative.
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PIV intercourse is just a small ct of it. While most women need a good amount of making out, oral sex, and rubbing before their vulvas and vaginas are ready for penetration, unfortunately that's often not the case with first-time PIV.
Or, as was the case for Michelle, their teenage boyfriends don't really understand what "warming up" entails. My sweet boyfriend was patient and worried he'd hurt me that we took it really slow. Unfortunately, the stereotype of the guy just going for and the girl wincing in pain does still apply to some people's first time.
And, like Ziggy, some of those people have figured out very colorful metaphors to describe the feeling.